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WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME
AMY
text π audio π video
WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK
USERNAME
AMY
text π audio π video
Hey, Amy! I have kind of a weird question. Or maybe not weird, but personal?
Do you have much experience with guys?
Do you have much experience with guys?
[she says if you train me right, i won't ever have to worry about it and he smirks and tells her it's going to happen no matter what, in that low voice he likes to use when it's just them, but he doesn't break his promise and breaks her in everywhere else. amy sheds her skin for him, the first skin meant for the girls and parties elias won't ever be invited to, and meets him as best she can. he tells her how to wrap her hands and smacks her knuckles when done incorrectly the first few times. but those are the only times, and amy catches what he throws quick.
her agility is impressive, but he doesn't tell her that. he recognizes a darkness in her, an eating, and he doesn't tell her that, either.
elias throws the bag in the trash and tucks the note inside his journal. he holds the plush in the palm of his hand, fingers clutching around soft fur, and calls amy.
immediately:]
What the fuck is this.
her agility is impressive, but he doesn't tell her that. he recognizes a darkness in her, an eating, and he doesn't tell her that, either.
elias throws the bag in the trash and tucks the note inside his journal. he holds the plush in the palm of his hand, fingers clutching around soft fur, and calls amy.
immediately:]
What the fuck is this.
Edited (icon) 2025-11-26 07:20 (UTC)
Hi, Elias.
[ Chipper, cheerful when they're off the clock. The nice voice she uses to talk to everyone else β that sits separate from the thing that burns in her chest when she gets a step wrong. And it helps, maybe, that she isn't looking to be told well done or good job, at least not in so many words. She understands it well enough when he decides it's time to move onto another exercise, when he stops rapping her knuckles after she wraps her hands. What matters is that he understands what she needs, which is a knife that isn't a knife, when everyone here is special, and her flesh bruises easily. ]
It's a keychain. For your water bottle, to help tell it apart. Or for your gym bag. Backpack. Wherever you want to put it.
[ A beat. ]
It reminded me of you.
[ Chipper, cheerful when they're off the clock. The nice voice she uses to talk to everyone else β that sits separate from the thing that burns in her chest when she gets a step wrong. And it helps, maybe, that she isn't looking to be told well done or good job, at least not in so many words. She understands it well enough when he decides it's time to move onto another exercise, when he stops rapping her knuckles after she wraps her hands. What matters is that he understands what she needs, which is a knife that isn't a knife, when everyone here is special, and her flesh bruises easily. ]
It's a keychain. For your water bottle, to help tell it apart. Or for your gym bag. Backpack. Wherever you want to put it.
[ A beat. ]
It reminded me of you.
[elias doesn't expect her answer. maybe he wanted her to say something else, like how it was a mistake and she'd meant for it to be delivered to isolde, but amy is too perfect for a mistake like that. he doesn't get gifts or open kindness, not without a catch, not without a scratch my back i'll scratch yours, and he doesn't trust a damn word that comes out of amy's mouth.]
This, [the word is breathed out, and he shakes the little toy in his fist like she can see it.] thing reminded you of me?
[but his tone shouldn't be mistaken for anger, for as much as he sounds annoyed, there's a delicate humor beneath the tension he airs out for everyone to see and hear. the subtle confusion mixed with amusement are laced in the undertones, and she's likely smart enough to catch it.]
This, [the word is breathed out, and he shakes the little toy in his fist like she can see it.] thing reminded you of me?
[but his tone shouldn't be mistaken for anger, for as much as he sounds annoyed, there's a delicate humor beneath the tension he airs out for everyone to see and hear. the subtle confusion mixed with amusement are laced in the undertones, and she's likely smart enough to catch it.]
Yeah.
[ Easy, like it's the most natural thing in the world, like most people wouldn't take the way he's asked as indicating annoyance. (Granted, she'd answer the same way even if she couldn't read him at all. ) ]
Something about the littleβ [ her fingers wave in the air, an unconscious mirror of an unseen gesture ] βthe bonnet. Hat? It's cute, don't you think?
[ Which is not quite do you think you're cute, but likely isn't of the strain of questions he usually gets, either. ]
[ Easy, like it's the most natural thing in the world, like most people wouldn't take the way he's asked as indicating annoyance. (Granted, she'd answer the same way even if she couldn't read him at all. ) ]
Something about the littleβ [ her fingers wave in the air, an unconscious mirror of an unseen gesture ] βthe bonnet. Hat? It's cute, don't you think?
[ Which is not quite do you think you're cute, but likely isn't of the strain of questions he usually gets, either. ]
[is this a trick is held on his tongue. he meets her with silence and his jaw works the words back down into nothing, reshapes them into something more acceptable:]
You think it's cute.
[he's doing what most would consider too much of repeating back. women see men βΒ no, the world, differently than men. they can look at a stuffed animal and think this is someone i know when all elias sees is an unnecessary object he has no use for. this teddy is amy being thoughtful. this cute shape is amy being grateful. graceful, even. she has the natural gravitational pull of it and he'll always be outside the orbit of women like her.]
Sure, whatever. [that's the closest thing to a 'thank you' she's going to get.] You don't have to do this shit with me.
You think it's cute.
[he's doing what most would consider too much of repeating back. women see men βΒ no, the world, differently than men. they can look at a stuffed animal and think this is someone i know when all elias sees is an unnecessary object he has no use for. this teddy is amy being thoughtful. this cute shape is amy being grateful. graceful, even. she has the natural gravitational pull of it and he'll always be outside the orbit of women like her.]
Sure, whatever. [that's the closest thing to a 'thank you' she's going to get.] You don't have to do this shit with me.
Ha, maybe a little.
I should probably preface with the disclaimer that my boyfriend's great. We weren't together when we first got here, though, so we've been
seeing how keeping things open goes?
It's new for me. Most things here are.
But it feels a little stupid to get my feelings hurt by someone else, who I'm not even dating. Someone I'm not even sure I like? And I don't mean "like-like", I mean baseline. As a person. Maybe he just pushed the right buttons for a minute and then pushed the wrong one.
I should probably preface with the disclaimer that my boyfriend's great. We weren't together when we first got here, though, so we've been
seeing how keeping things open goes?
It's new for me. Most things here are.
But it feels a little stupid to get my feelings hurt by someone else, who I'm not even dating. Someone I'm not even sure I like? And I don't mean "like-like", I mean baseline. As a person. Maybe he just pushed the right buttons for a minute and then pushed the wrong one.
not even baseline, huh? almost hurts more, that way.
okay, let me take a wild guess.
how much have you talked it over with your boyfriend? being open, i mean. we've both been here for about a month, right? if you weren't together when you got here, you've barely been back together for that long. it's a lot to go through at once. it's gonna make you a little touchier about everything else.
but again, this is a wild guess. i can't say i've ever tried this open relationship thing, either.
(and also, you have to point out your boyfriend, next time. i want to see which boy got so lucky!)
okay, let me take a wild guess.
how much have you talked it over with your boyfriend? being open, i mean. we've both been here for about a month, right? if you weren't together when you got here, you've barely been back together for that long. it's a lot to go through at once. it's gonna make you a little touchier about everything else.
but again, this is a wild guess. i can't say i've ever tried this open relationship thing, either.
(and also, you have to point out your boyfriend, next time. i want to see which boy got so lucky!)
I'll definitely introduce you to Peter, sometime. I'm glad he's here with me, even if being here at all is--a mixed bag?
We've only talked about it a little, yeah. It's not something I think we would have tried on our own, back home. But I'd broken things off before heading to college because of the distance, and then being thrown together here...it's not what either of us expected.
Do you have anyone back home?
We've only talked about it a little, yeah. It's not something I think we would have tried on our own, back home. But I'd broken things off before heading to college because of the distance, and then being thrown together here...it's not what either of us expected.
Do you have anyone back home?
I hadn't really thought about that, though. That it can hurt more when you don't know someone well. Or when you think you don't have any expectations and get surprised by it.
Maybe because there's no foundation there. Or it just makes me mad when guys treat girls like they're disposable. Probably both.
Maybe because there's no foundation there. Or it just makes me mad when guys treat girls like they're disposable. Probably both.
[ It's an echo, sure, but Amy's spent enough time around Elias to recognize it as tangible effort, too. Effort not to be rude, effort to make space instead of jumping directly to fight or flight. (He's called her about it, instead of throwing it away immediately.)
So: ]
I know I don't have to.
[ In her room, she digs the nail of her pointer finger into the pad of her thumb. ]
A few of us got charms. I didn't want you to be left out.
[ Be left out, not feel left out β an important distinction, when one is objective and the other subjective. ]
So: ]
I know I don't have to.
[ In her room, she digs the nail of her pointer finger into the pad of her thumb. ]
A few of us got charms. I didn't want you to be left out.
[ Be left out, not feel left out β an important distinction, when one is objective and the other subjective. ]
i think "disposable" is answering all the questions i'd normally ask β he's either not worth your time, or the type to need a lot of elbow grease, and it sounds like peter might be a bit more deserving β in a good way.
can you keep a secret? it's not anything terrible, just something i'm figuring out, here.
can you keep a secret? it's not anything terrible, just something i'm figuring out, here.
Edited 2025-11-27 03:35 (UTC)
Can I tell you what happened? I don't think I did anything wrong, when I reflect on it. Or at least not anything I need to apologize for. But it's easy to get in my head about it.
Anyway, god, sorry, enough about me. I can absolutely keep a secret, cross my heart. π©·
Anyway, god, sorry, enough about me. I can absolutely keep a secret, cross my heart. π©·
[for all the sharp edges and natural go fuck yourself energy elias is, when he's alone, he's allowed to soften. amy can't see the shift of his expression or droop of tense shoulders, or the automatic resistance that comes with his territory, but she can hear the silence. she's navigating him carefully, like if she takes one wrong step a bear trap will snap her ankle.]
I'm not gonna put it on my water bottle.
[but he's not going to toss it, either. inclusion isn't normal for him like it is for her. the younger girls gravitate toward her β he's seen it. he's watched. she has a voice someone would want to keep listening to β smooth and confident and soft. she takes space and people notice her. she's noticed for popularity and elias is used to being noticed for fear. watch him and be watched. the bear gets sat on his desk, his finger poking at its nose and tilting it back, back, back,
the keychain scrapes the table when it falls over.]
I guess. I guess it's okay.
I'm not gonna put it on my water bottle.
[but he's not going to toss it, either. inclusion isn't normal for him like it is for her. the younger girls gravitate toward her β he's seen it. he's watched. she has a voice someone would want to keep listening to β smooth and confident and soft. she takes space and people notice her. she's noticed for popularity and elias is used to being noticed for fear. watch him and be watched. the bear gets sat on his desk, his finger poking at its nose and tilting it back, back, back,
the keychain scrapes the table when it falls over.]
I guess. I guess it's okay.
Edited 2025-11-28 21:26 (UTC)
Thanks, Amy. I'd say I owe you a coffee if everything wasn't already free here, but...you know what I mean.
You know Elias, from the gym? We matched on that Voyeur app. I don't have a ton of experience on apps, either, since Peter and I met through school.
Maybe having pictures stolen for it made me want to...I don't know, reclaim some agency sending them of my own volition? Maybe that was stupid. I sent him a couple.
And he was, you know, Elias about it, but still flirting. Until he was like "do you send these to all of your students" and I was like "I'm test-running how well it works on you" and he freaked out.
You know Elias, from the gym? We matched on that Voyeur app. I don't have a ton of experience on apps, either, since Peter and I met through school.
Maybe having pictures stolen for it made me want to...I don't know, reclaim some agency sending them of my own volition? Maybe that was stupid. I sent him a couple.
And he was, you know, Elias about it, but still flirting. Until he was like "do you send these to all of your students" and I was like "I'm test-running how well it works on you" and he freaked out.
Oh, wow. I'm really sorry to hear that--that things were rocky, I mean.
Do you wish he was here, to work it out? Or is it better that he's not?
Do you wish he was here, to work it out? Or is it better that he's not?
i'll hold you to a coffee date, anyway.
elias, huh?
[ Amy pauses, thinking it over. He'sβ not, frankly, the type of guy she'd recommend to a young girl just getting her bearings in the dating pool. ]
you didn't do anything wrong, besides being too generous. good rule of thumb, don't send a boy any pictures of you until he's earned them.
maybe he's the jealous type? but he kind of set himself up for your answer, as far as i'm concerned.
elias, huh?
[ Amy pauses, thinking it over. He'sβ not, frankly, the type of guy she'd recommend to a young girl just getting her bearings in the dating pool. ]
you didn't do anything wrong, besides being too generous. good rule of thumb, don't send a boy any pictures of you until he's earned them.
maybe he's the jealous type? but he kind of set himself up for your answer, as far as i'm concerned.
[ Gwen does have a follow-up ready, about Elias: the thing about not being a test subject, telling her he'd cash in on a photo later, ignoring her attempt to apologize.
But all of that feels petty and unimportant in the face of what Amy's just sent her. Gwen knows a little of what it's like to fear a man she once trusted, even if he wasn't her boyfriend. Certainly nothing like the betrayal of a husband. ]
Oh, Amy. That's awful.
Do you want to talk about it? We don't have to. But I'm happy to listen.
But all of that feels petty and unimportant in the face of what Amy's just sent her. Gwen knows a little of what it's like to fear a man she once trusted, even if he wasn't her boyfriend. Certainly nothing like the betrayal of a husband. ]
Oh, Amy. That's awful.
Do you want to talk about it? We don't have to. But I'm happy to listen.
[ On the other end of the line, Amy looks at her phone β and smiles.
She types and deletes a string of nonsense, just enough text to ensure a set of ellipses pop up and then disappear on Gwen's screen.
Then: ]
do you want to come over to my room?
it might be easier to talk about this in person.
She types and deletes a string of nonsense, just enough text to ensure a set of ellipses pop up and then disappear on Gwen's screen.
Then: ]
do you want to come over to my room?
it might be easier to talk about this in person.
Of course. I can be right there.
Can I get you coffee or tea on the way up?
Can I get you coffee or tea on the way up?
i'll have a little tea, if you'll have some with me?
i'll leave the door open, just come in when you get here.
[ And she does as promised β the door to her room is cracked open just so, opening into a room that's been tastefully appointed, off-white walls transitioning into wood paneling and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. Amy sits in the middle of it all, knees tucked up to her chest on a broad coach. She brightens as soon as she spots Gwen, getting up and crossing the room to pull the girl into a hug. ]
Gwen! Thanks for coming.
[ As she steps back, she lets her hands fall, careful not to jostle the tea the young woman's carrying. ]
Sorry, I justβ it felt like it maybe wasn't quite a conversation to have over text.
i'll leave the door open, just come in when you get here.
[ And she does as promised β the door to her room is cracked open just so, opening into a room that's been tastefully appointed, off-white walls transitioning into wood paneling and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. Amy sits in the middle of it all, knees tucked up to her chest on a broad coach. She brightens as soon as she spots Gwen, getting up and crossing the room to pull the girl into a hug. ]
Gwen! Thanks for coming.
[ As she steps back, she lets her hands fall, careful not to jostle the tea the young woman's carrying. ]
Sorry, I justβ it felt like it maybe wasn't quite a conversation to have over text.
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