SALTBURNT | inbox.

[begot]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME
AMY

text 🍒 audio 🍒 video
 

Comments

[internship]

[ Gwen takes a sip of her tea, considering. ]

Peter's my first serious boyfriend. I broke up with my middle school boyfriend freshman year, but-- [ That particular gap in experience does embarrass her, just a little, the tip of her nose going pink. ] Definitely not the same.

[begot]

Then I hope you'll never have to know the feeling I'm about to describe to you.

[ Frank and earnest — not at all judgmental of Gwen's inexperience, instead glad that she has someone she cares for and who cares for her in turn, that she hasn't been hurt this badly before. ]

It was good, for a while. But I guess I was ... standing on an ice floe. When I couldn't see the edges of it, life was beautiful. But every day, it was melting a little bit. He saw me less and less. Nick. He—

[ Amy pauses, her gaze falling to the cup in her hands. ]

We moved to take care of his mom. Do you know, he never even asked me what I thought? Of course I'd go with him, but— I wanted him to ask. To care about what I thought. I even used the last of my savings to buy him a bar. But he still didn't really see me. And, away from my family, my friends, the place I'd grown up, I felt like I was just getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Like I was disappearing.

[ Here, she looks back up, her blue eyes red-rimmed. The perfect picture of sadness, of a woman made so small when her presence here in this house — away from him — is warm, lively, vibrant. ]

I wanted to work on it. On us. But when I tried to talk to him— [ her voice breaks as she elides the point — he put his hands on me ] —I hit my head so hard, I could see stars. And I could see it in his eyes, that he—

[ The tears that well in her eyes finally spill over, and her breath stutters. She seems as scared, now, recollecting what had happened, as she must have been in that moment. ]

—he wanted to hurt me more.